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I have realized of late, that everyone must have an occasional quest in their life. You know, some quirky exploration that opens up new experiences, a little “joie de vivre”, a bit of silliness, glimpses of different neighborhoods or people, perspectives on unfamiliar worlds.

And any worthy quest is best when it’s shared. Recently, in my case, it was my quest for coconut cake. 

My friend had read about a coconut cake that is so decadently good, that actor Tom Cruise consistently gifts it to his friends at the holidays. It is a white chocolate-coconut bundt cake, made by Doan’s Bakery in Woodland Hills, CA. Reading about the rich bundt cake loaded with chunks of sweet white chocolate and generously topped with yummy cream cheese frosting and coconut flakes got our “foodie” hearts beating faster. (Or maybe it was our tummies rumbling…?) No matter, we wanted to visit the place, and get our hands on our own “Cruise coconut cake.” 

You can get the cake (or other baked goods) shipped to you from Doan’s by the delivery service Goldbelly. But the cake wasn’t cheap, and adding the Goldbelly delivery cost to that was really out of my budget.  So a coconut cake would have to be secured in person, at the bakery. 

An exciting road trip to Doan’s Bakery became our quest. We would venture onto busy freeways and through unknown neighborhoods. We would explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly go “where no man (or woman) had ever gone before!”

Of course this Star Trek description is a bit of an over-dramatization. But our quest would involve crossing OC’s “Orange Wall” into Los Angeles, which would definitely open up strange new worlds to us. 

So one perfect “70-and-sunny” California day, we recruited another member of our girl possee, and piled into my car Pearl. It brought back memories of teenage forays with friends. Back then, we’d go to the White Hen or the Ford City Mall, in whatever car someone was able to secure. It was always for some very important errand we just had to do. 

The small bakery is inauspiciously located on Ventura Blvd in Woodland Hills. It has been there for years, family-owned since 1983. The baked goods looked lovely, and we finally got our coconut cake prizes bagged up to enjoy at home. By this time we were hungry, and wanted to go someplace for a nosh. According to a fellow Doan’s patron who overheard us trying to decide, the nearby Leo & Lily’s restaurant was a great place.  He said we could split portions, they gave you so much food. By the way, this friendly man looked very familiar, with the dramatic dress and bearing of an actor that I should have known but didn’t. We were too shy to ask him further, not wanting to act like out-of-towners that weren’t in the know. (So we’ll never find out who he was- I guess it’s just iykyk!) 

We did check Leo and Lily’s but the line was too discouraging. We settled on the nearby Dog Haus, a laid-back looking place that turned out to have the best assortment of hot dogs, tater tots and onion rings ever. Despite its casual air, the food was hot and wonderful, and servers were quite attentive. It’s on my “return” list now. Finding a good hot dog is something I took for granted when growing up in Chicago. (In Chicagoland, great hot dogs were everywhere- sadly not so much in California). Thus happily fortified, we were ready for more exploration in this grand new world. 

Westfield Topanga Mall was beckoning from across the street, so we went wandering there. Many nice shops, but alas, no Macy’s bargains for us. It’s still fun to window shop, whether successfully finding a bargain or not.

There were freeway glimpses of other beckoning places. We passed that hotel Chateau Marmont, where John Belusi famously lived and died. Since 1926, this gothic-style chateau has long been frequented by actors, writers, musicians, and directors.  Anthony Bourdain, Katharine Hepburn, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Sidney Poitier, Death Grips, Gore Vidal, Annie Leibovitz… the Chateau Marmont features a continual LA who’s who list. Miley Cyrus sings in her “Plastic Hearts” song that the Chateau is “The sunny place for shady people, a crowded room where nobody goes, You can be whoever you wanna be here…”  Hmmmm, Chateau Marmont definitely has all the makings of a future quest…if a non-celebrity can even get near the place.

Other places flash past as we head for home. LA’s many conspicuous eye-candy cars, and its multitude of entertainment-themed billboards fade. OC’s usual Teslas and Hondas now rule the freeway, and billboards of unexciting products and accident lawyers replace LA’s movie and TV show ads. When we drive through the “little hills” of Cerritos, past the Orange Curtain, we’re almost home. 

So went our successful quest, experienced with good friends on a perfect day. Unlike much of the world, we can still pile into a car (that too is a blessing, having a car!) on a pretty day, to make a fun trip. We have no raging war around us to fear, no military checkpoints to navigate, no worry of driving to certain areas where there is fighting. Places are accessible on  roads that navigate well (though many folk may grouchily dispute this!) Going on a driving quest is a casual option available in a time of peace and plenty. It is an invigorating wonderful thing to be able to do- though to many, it is a rare thing. I’m just grateful for mine. 

So how was the coconut cake that started it all? Let’s just say that I’ll be going on another quest for it again soon. 

I recently became what locals here call a “leaf peeper”- a fall tourist who travels to the East Coast to scout out its stunning autumn foliage. During my wanderings, I visited historic Salem, MA. There I had an unexpected reaction during what was originally nothing but a light-hearted exploration of the East Coast.  

Salem is a charming historic coastal city with a rich maritime past that generated many of America’s first millionaires. Notable people from Salem include American writer Nathaniel Hawthorne (of “The Scarlet Letter” fame), or navigator Nathaniel Bowditch (whose brilliant 1802 maritime protocols are still in use). But Salem’s primary identity comes from the historical echoes of its famous witch trials. Nicknamed “Witch City,” Salem has developed a cheerful witch-related persona. Wiccan merchandise and attractions dominate the usual tourist souvenirs. The town even has a statue of TV witch Samantha from “Bewitched” overseeing its tourist throngs.

But in the Puritan society of 1692 Salem, witchcraft was an extremely serious matter, punishable by death. Back then, Salem’s witchcraft hysteria arose when several Salem-area young girls fell ill. They accused local women of casting spells on them. The accusations escalated into a wave of arrests and trials. 150 men and women were charged with practicing witchcraft. 19 people were hanged, and one man was crushed to death while being tortured to confess.

By 1693, the hysteria lost momentum, when the wife of Governor William Phips was also accused of witchcraft. This caused the governor to order an end to the trials. He established a new court that did not allow so-called spectral evidence. (Spectral evidence was the testimony of dreams or visions by alleged victims against the accused. It was admitted in court as legal evidence and proof that the accused were indeed witches). 

“Not all of Salem’s witchiness is silly…the play ‘Cry Innocent: the People Vs. Bridget Bishop’ in which the audience may question the accused, is educational and beautifully performed.” (The NY Times)

Salem’s History Alive, Inc. offered me and others a reenactment where we interactively took part in the witchcraft trial of Bridget Bishop. The play took us back in time, with trial participants all dressed in period clothing. We heard testimonies, asked questions, and were the jury that voted on Bridget Bishop’s innocence or guilt. The Puritan’s use of dreams and visions as legal evidence was not seen as credible with us modern “jurists.” Of course we thought our Bridget was innocent.

Unfortunately the historical truth is that 60 year old Bridget Bishop was the first person in the witch trials to be executed. And she was the last of the innocent witchcraft victims to be exonerated, not until Massachusetts passed legislation in 2001. (Talk about the wheels of justice grinding slowly…!) 

“I am Innocent” (One victim’s protest inscribed at the Memorial)

When I walked the dreary path of The Witch Trials Memorial on Liberty Street, it raised many questions. Here were innocent victims of a flawed legal system with “confessions” derived under torture. How could such horror stem from a society based on democratic order and faith?

Because the Puritan society did have great crowning achievements. Puritans established the first American colonies. They instituted representative democracies in all of them. They greatly valued education. For example, education was mandatory for children, and Puritan John Harvard founded the Ivy League university of (you guessed it)- Harvard. New England’s prosperous shipbuilding economy was built on Puritan business skills and hard work. Yet an educated orderly Puritan society still wrongly condemned these people as witches. And the deadly hysteria of 1692 is not a one-time anomaly. It has continued to manifest in many ways throughout history. 

“The Red hunt, led by the House Committee on Un-American Activities and by McCarthy, was becoming the dominating fixation of the American psyche…”

(Arther Miller) https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1996/10/21/why-i-wrote-the-crucible

Arthur Miller wrote his 1953 allegorical play “The Crucible” about the Salem witch trials, triggered by his observations of a threatening Senator Joseph McCarthy and his congressional hearings of 1950-1954. In the “Red hunt” for communist infiltrators in the government, Miller saw a repeat of the same human sacrifice to the furies of fanaticism and paranoia as in the witch trials. Miller later noted that the Salem interrogations could be seen modeled in Stalin’s Russia, Pinochet’s Chile, Mao’s China, and more.

So my upbeat leaf-peeping jaunt took a dark cautionary turn in Salem. The city’s history showcases how intolerance, fear, political turmoil, and belief in a vast [witchcraft] conspiracy led to horrific injustices. Sadly, those same issues present in Salem then still persist in America and other places today. 

My Salem visit left me with a dark revelation. If we do not learn from Salem’s history, we are doomed to repeat it in some sad fashion. 

Las Vegas has always been a city that embodies the ultimate in spectacle and amusement. But musical entertainment in Vegas has now reached a futuristic level with the unveiling of their Sphere arena near the Venetian. Entertainment’s future has indeed arrived, and it definitely looks like a sphere. 

Announced by the Madison Square Garden Company in 2018, the massive 18,600 seat auditorium has taken 4 years and a whopping $2.3 billion to build. The sound system is surround sound on steroids.  (To put it in “geek speak,” it has the ultimate in spatial audio systems based on beam forming, Holospot, and wave field synthesis technologies). The Sphere’s interior wraparound LED screen is the largest and highest-resolution LED screen in the world. 

(https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/the-sphere-is-here-are-we-ready-for-more-high-tech-architecture-180983077/).

Its exterior screen is nothing short of extraordinary too. Las Vegas residents have been treated thus far to the Sphere’s spectacular changing display.  They’ve seen a giant basketball at the start of the 2023 NBA Summer League in July, along with the moon, the earth, and a huge eery eyeball watching the city. And of course, there’s already been advertising for You Tube’s NFL Sunday Ticket pro football package emblazoned on the Sphere. You just know there’s countless pumpkins, Christmas snow globes, and other scenes at ready for display. 

On September 29, 2023, the Sphere opened with Irish rock band U2 tour U2:UV Achtung Baby Live at Sphere– a 25-show residency.  After negotiating the minefield that is Ticketmaster to get tickets, I was able to attend the show in October. 

And it was a top-notch show- the ultimate pairing of a great band with a ground-breaking venue.

U2 was a perfect band to introduce the Sphere to concert-goers. Their music is big and soaring enough to lend itself well to creative graphic interpretations. But as incredible and overwhelming as the visuals are, the wonderful close-ups of Bono and bandmates make the performances very personal. Bono is intimate in his talk, drawing in fans with references to Elvis, Bob Dylan, or missing bandmate Larry Mullen. Bono confesses “Not since October 1978 have we played a show without Larry Mullen,” who is recovering from surgery for drumming-related injuries. (https://www.billboard.com/lists/u2-sphere-las-vegas-concert-review-best-moments/bono-lets-us-in-on-a-secret/).  The band even sang bits from Elvis’ “Love Me Tender,” the Beatle’s “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise),” and “Blackbird,” and a tribute to Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares to You.”

“With or Without You” was probably the best song of the night. It is a stirring song, made more awesome with a stunning visual of a huge ball floating in water up behind the band.  The ball gradually draws nearer and reveals an opening. Multiple drawings of endangered creatures eventually swirl out of it and overwhelm the whole dome, like a psychedelic Audubon sky-scape. “Angel of Harlem,” “Love Is Blindness,” “Beautiful Day,” “Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses,” “Even Better Than the Real Thing,” “Desire,” Where the Streets Have No Name”…there was a set list of 22 songs, each memorable, enhanced by mind-boggling graphics. 

As a vertigo-prone fan with previous U2 concert experience, I brought my earplugs for the Sphere concert. They were not needed. The sound system of the Sphere is definitely high tech. While the band’s music was loud per usual, it was modified somehow. I could find no visible speakers in the seats, but the acoustics are customized and individual. I could hear when Bono whispered.

Some fans have commented also that the 200-400 sections are the best levels to get the whole visual concert experience. This is a total diametric shift for concert-goers- from when the seats closest to the stage were the best seats. Since the overall visual is now an integral part of the concert, those tickets up front do not necessarily provide that full visual experience anymore.  

Amazingly, finding the Sphere took a little walking and wrong turns. I did not find that the Vegas city signage has caught up with this new arena yet. It is surprising how easy it is to lose a building as large as the Sphere, but I did.  I had to do a little wandering around to get The Sphere in my sight.  I felt better that I was not the only lost soul- other folks’ GPS phone robots were leading them hither and yon too. 

Additionally there is swag galore available for purchase at the ZooStation: A U2:UV Experience at the Venetian Resort next door.  There are lots of photo ops there too- a vintage Trabant car, a scale German subway car, and other backdrops. The pop-up’s hours are Tuesday through Sunday 11am-9pm. 

So entertainment’s future is here. It’s in Las Vegas, it’s sphere-shaped- and it’s awesome.  

The “Man from U.N.C.L.E” television show in the 60’s is a very fond childhood memory. My friend Gail and I discussed and re-enacted each episode on the school playground after it aired. It was great to have a buddy who studied all the cool dialog, and knew all the inside stuff.  You know,  the important background details. Not just details about what U.N.C.L.E. stood for (United Network Command for Law and Enforcement)- but what the bad-guy organization THRUSH stood for (the Technical Hierarchy for the Removal of Undesirables and the Subjugation of Humanity, of course!)

The U.N.C.L.E. show was a campy look at good guy spies battling the forces of evil in the world, using cutting edge technologies.  My friend was suave Napoleon Solo, and I was the mysterious Illya Kuryakin. We were saving up to buy that cool communicator pen. We enthusiastically followed our heroes until the show ended in 1968. As kids, the U.N.C.L.E. show was deadly serious, a glimpse of a world we were sure we’d face in an exciting adulthood. We of course would stand up for righteousness and good, fighting clear obvious evils to the end.

Brooding Russian character Illya Kuryakin was my first childhood crush. So after the “Man from U.N.C.L.E.” show, I grew into a lifelong fan of the actor David McCallum. And the Scottish actor never disappointed me. He was as gracious in his interactions and personal life, as any fan could ever hope. He was in some notable films and shows, pursued good causes such as the Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation, and had family that he doted on.

As I followed McCallum’s career, he became a catalyst for experiences I would never have had otherwise. I count him as an integral part of my life from my childhood on. I gained many fine memories and happy experiences with loved ones as we pursued our common fandom. There was volunteer work at a Boston bike race AIDS fundraiser that David rode in, and NY trips to see him in various plays (“Amadeus,” “The Comedians” – even “Julius Caesar” in Central Park).  There’s a framed playbill on the wall, with an autograph obtained in a side alley with my friend as McCallum left the Broadway theater. And there was a crazy just-in-the-nick-of-time travel adventure with more friends, just to get to a little Cape Cod theater in time to see David perform in “Angel Street” there.

Later I did a trip to a fundraising event in frosty Omaha, NE. The fundraiser was built around a movie viewing of the German war camp drama “The Great Escape.” That movie btw was a fateful event in David’s personal life. The classic movie was filled with many great actors- Steve McQueen, James Garner, Richard Attenborough, Charles Bronson, James Coburn. On the set, David introduced his then-wife Jill Ireland to friend Charles Bronson. Subsequently, when their marriage ended in divorce, she married Bronson. David fortunately got through that rough patch, and later found Katherine Carpenter, who was his wife for 56 years. David and I both got through some ups and downs in life, sometimes together it seemed.

In 2016 in Los Angeles, I went to David’s book signing of his mystery book “Once a Crooked Man.”  This new writing facet was not surprising, as McCallum was multi-talented. (A classically trained musician, he’d conducted instrumentals on 4 albums for Capitol Records in the 60’s). Of course by this time I was a faithful NCIS fan, looking forward weekly to his appearances as Dr. Donald “Ducky” Mallard on the top-rated series. He developed his eccentric medical examiner role when he was 70, gaining new generations of fans for two decades.

David McCallum, so intertwined with my many good life experiences, is gone now. It makes me sad- like a big piece of my childhood and life is departed now too. But I take out my pen communicator, because I just have to say: “Job well done, David. You are greatly missed. Out.”

I think that “old-vertising” is moving in new directions. The marketplace is realizing that there are more facets to an older person’s life than needing Life Alert devices, reverse mortgages, and medicines for multiple obscure ailments. Apparently there’s lots to be made by recognizing that seniors have love lives. The senior population has increased longevity and a healthy net worth. (Raja, Sarah. June 8, 2023. “Average Net Worth By Age for Americans: How Do You Compare?” https://www.lexingtonlaw.com/blog/finance/average-net-worth-by-age.html).  As a result, society lately has been paying more attention to their elders. Last year’s best picture was “Top Gun: Maverick” starring 61-year old Tom Cruise. Sports Illustrated had 81-year old Martha Stewart as its cover model earlier this year, while Jamie Lee Curtis (at 64) snagged an Oscar.

It was only a matter of time before “The Golden Bachelor” entered the television scene, spotlighting senior dating. The makers of “The Golden Bachelor” are counting on a 72 year old grandfather from Indiana to spark some interest in the flagging “Bachelor” franchise. Bachelor Gerry Turner is courting 22 bachelorettes to find his true love. He’s also combatting ageist stereotypes about the vitality of older Americans, since the average age of his suitors is 67. Can “The Golden Bachelor” program take the stereotype of seniors from cutesy or crotchety- to sexy? (Kingston, Jennifer A. Sept 28, 2023.“Can ‘The Golden Bachelor’ Make Seniors Sexy?” https://www.axios.com/2023/09/28/golden-bachelor-spinoff-abc-dating-show). 

“The heart has no wrinkles.” (unknown)

Program ratings thus far reflect an audience open to older people taking a chance at love. Some are fascinated with contestants not searching for a love with whom to start a family or establish their career, but finding that special someone with whom to spend life’s final chapters. The show offers hope that the so-called golden years can indeed be golden, no matter what has preceded them. 

There seems to be disagreement among viewers over the open “French kissing” that took place so far. Some viewers (myself included) wanted seniors to set a little more respectful example on screen. Others saw the older contestants as being comfortable in their own skin, not afraid to be sexy. Were the televised kissing scenes raunchy or realistic? The vote is still pending… Make note though, for those that have watched this franchise in the past, any blatantly televised sexual element should come as no surprise. Sex, at any age, still sells. And the Bachelor franchise has heavily depended on sex over its 27 seasons.

“You don’t have to be thin to look great.” (columnist Lisa Kogan)

Another note by some viewers was that the women contestants were mostly skinny athletic types. The only plus-sized woman was Jimmy Kimmel’s aunt Chippy, clearly added as a comedy stunt. Like its predecessors, this show highly emphasizes appearance and looks. The show is unlikely to depart from its formula of overly romanticized love and relationships, based mostly on looks.  But some viewers wistfully wish for different. 

In the end, “The Golden Bachelor” is showing the world that seniors have love lives too. It is offering a more nuanced view of seniors as dating and dateable, worthy of achieving happiness at any age. This is a good thing. But I hope that seniors, even while being blatantly marketed, can still break stereotypes along the way. They can contribute some class and wisdom accrued over the years. 

I confess I don’t know much about the country of Denmark. It’s a Scandinavian country with neighbors Sweden and Norway, and its capital is Copenhagen. I think Denmark is a seafaring kind of place, filled with Vikings. Additionally, those Vikings eat delicious Danish pastries for breakfast every day, live in windmills, and wear wooden shoes. You might (correctly) guess that these last impressions of Denmark are from my happy visits to the “Danish Capital of America”- Solvang, CA. 

So despite my little knowledge about Denmark, my curiosity was piqued when I recently discovered an interesting fact.  Denmark was one of the few European countries that actively resisted the Nazi deportation of its Jewish citizens for their “Final Solution.” Unlike many other countries, 90 percent of Danish Jews survived the Holocaust. Some 7,220 Danish Jews, along with 686 non-Jewish family members, were ferried to nearby neutral Sweden. Of the 464 Jews who did not escape and were deported to the Theresienstadt ghetto, only 51 did not survive. Many Jews returning to Denmark after the war found that their neighbors had maintained their homes and belongings in their absence. 

[There was] “a living wall raised by the Danish people in the course of one night.”

Historian Leni Wahl in “Why 90 Percent of Danish Jews Survived the Holocaust” (https://www.history.com/news/wwii-danish-jews-survival-holocaust 

The spontaneous Danish resistance by ordinary citizens had some background reasons.  Anti-semitism apparently had not taken deep root in Denmark- most Danes just considered Jewish Danes fellow citizens. The Danish government and King Christian X continuously actively resisted Nazi orders to single out or persecute their Jewish population. Such defiance set an important example for the rest of the country. The Nazis found it politically difficult to carry out their plans in the face of government resistance and public outcry. 

Denmark was put under Nazi control in 1940, with minimal Nazi management, since Hitler did not view small Denmark as much of a threat. By 1943, as tensions increased, the Nazis finally dissolved the Danish government. But it was too little too late. There were already sympathetic German officials like civilian administrator Werner Best and diplomat Geor Duckwitz in place. They helped tip off key people about the Nazi plan to arrest Jews at their Jewish New Year holy day, and undermined efforts to prevent Jews from escaping. 

Also, when news of the impending Nazi roundup of Jews was leaked, the non-political State Church of Denmark took a very unusual stand. They issued a letter on Oct 3, 1943, read in all Lutheran churches throughout Denmark. They unambiguously declared allegiance to the doctrine that bid them to obey God more than man. Then the letter urged people to rally in support of their Jewish neighbors.  They declared that any affront to the freedom of their Jewish brothers and sisters was an affront to everyone’s freedom. 

Finally nearby neutral Sweden agreed to admit Jewish refugees from Denmark.  This meant that asylum was only a short 3-6 mile sea voyage away. With such relatively uncomplicated escape routes, the sea-faring Danes with boats responded quickly. Resistance groups swiftly negotiated fees for Jewish passengers, and recruited volunteers to raise money for the expensive passage costs.  Though some captains exploited this situation for monetary gain, most acted without regard to personal gain and despite possible Nazi punishment.

“It was the natural thing to do. I would have helped any group of Danes being persecuted. The Germans’ picking on the Jews made as much sense to me as picking on redheads.”

Dr. Karl Henry Koster from Rescue in the Holocaust (https://www.holocaustrescue.org/danish-rescue-quotes)

So why did the majority of everyday Danes resist the Nazi regime and help Jewish Danes escape, even at great risk to themselves and their families? Some think that it was Denmark’s particular brand of non-aggressive nationalism. Denmark was a small country with little military power. This likely led to their unique brand of nationalism based on smallness, close-knit community and traditions. 

Danes were also influenced by a Danish spiritual leader N.F.S. Grundtvig, who encouraged them to identify with the plight of the Jews.  Some credit the full integration of Denmark’s Jews into society- some Jewish Danes had risen to great prominence. This made Danish citizens see any Nazi actions against Denmark’s Jews as an affront to all Danes. To their credit, in the face of tyranny, the Danes chose a collective morality of empathy and compassion.   

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

Quote attributed to human rights activist Desmond Tutu

Most Danes later refused to take credit for their resistance work. They simply considered their actions as their civic duty toward fellow citizens. Some Danish rescuers are individually recognized by Yad Vashem (The World Holocaust Remembrance Center in Israel)- as Righteous Among the Nations. (Rescue in the Holocaust- https://www.holocaustrescue.org/danish-recognized-by-yad-vashem). There is also a Plaque and tree in honor of the Danish Underground in the Avenue of the Righteous. 

So as far as I am concerned, ordinary Danes coming together to rescue 90% of their Jewish population from the Nazis during WWII was a spectacular feat. Whatever their motivations were, I’m glad I learned that so many did the right thing at great risk. Denmark’s actions then are still a bright light shining in a horrifically dark part of human history. 

But it does make me think: In similar circumstances, would Americans today do the same as the Danes did back then? I have great hope that we would.

In the light of the recent horrific Maui fires, what are the best ethics for tourists that still want to visit? Immediately after the fires, tourists were urged to stay away from Maui altogether. There were the practical logistics in place that prioritized emergency personnel during search and recovery efforts.  But the massive fire destruction also seemed to bring up Hawaiians’ historic tensions over tourism.

Tourism has always been a double-edged sword for this “Paradise of the Pacific.” Hawaiian economy is heavily founded on the tourism industry. With that tourism comes serious issues. Environmental impacts on fragile ecosystems, strain on water, energy and infrastructure resources, and cultural dilution of genuine traditions are just a few. In other words, mass tourism can destroy the very essence of what makes any travel destination unique in the first place.  Hawaiians may need tourism to support their economy, but they have to manage its downsides.

To Visit Or Not To Visit?

Now the official word on travel to Maui has begun to change. As of August 17, 2023 the Hawaiian Tourism Authority has made new announcements. The obvious needs to be stated- tourists are advised NOT to go to West Maui.  This means avoiding badly decimated Lahaina. Nearby Kaanapali and Kapalua, now filled with displaced fire survivors, are included in the restricted areas. The last thing that hurting Hawaiians need are tourists taking selfies in front of fire areas where their homes once stood. (Unfortunately this may have already happened, explaining those “Tourist Keep Out” signs). 

However, all the rest of the island of Maui is still open to visitors. Popular Kihei and Wailea, or Paia on the North Shore- plus Kahului, Wailuku, Makena, Hana and the neighboring Maui County islands of Lanai and Molokai- all are open for business. Many feel that now is the time for visitors to be a continued part of the tourism that is their major source of revenue. Tourism dollars are needed more than ever to keep locals employed. 

“Come with respect, humility and reverence for our Maui community…” 

(resident Jean Naluai, in LA Times Aug 28, 2023 article“Should You Visit Maui Right Now? What Locals Want from Tourists as the Island Rebuilds”  https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2023-08-28/visit-spend-go-home-what-to-know-if-youre-traveling-to-maui).  

If visitors do choose to travel to Maui, sensitivity is especially needful at this time.  Tourists may be interacting with retail workers, hotel or restaurant staff that have personal connections to the fire, even losing homes or loved ones. Since recovery from the fires is the priority right now, some places may be short-staffed, or some attractions may be closed. Extra patience is called for from tourists as Maui recovers.  

“No matter what, the rest of Maui has to keep going on…”

(Daniel Kalahiki, Wailuku food truck operator, in  NY Times Aug 17, 2023 article “After Maui Wildfires, Travelers Ask: Would a Trip Help or Hurt?” https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/17/travel/maui-wildfires-travel-tourism.html). 

State tourism groups are encouraging visitors to come to the rest of Maui and the other islands- to support the economy. Yet there are still other voices urging tourists just the opposite.  Oahu-born actor Jason Momoa urged visitors to travel elsewhere. A TikTok video posted by Lahaina resident Kate Ducheneau flatly commanded, “Do not come to Maui.  Cancel your trip. Now.” 

In the end, the opposing voices indicate that there is still much more time needed for healing. Everyone must decide for themselves if and when to travel to Maui, and where their best destination to visit might be. 

Kokua is the Hawaiian word for “help”- something Hawaii, especially Maui, needs right now. Reports are beginning to trickle out from many areas that are crippled with electrical outages and no phone services. Fire damages are being described as apocryphal. Thirty six deaths are listed thus far, but there will undoubtedly be more as the damaged areas are accessed.

Oahu and Maui have long been top tourist destinations. Many the world over have fond memories of enjoying Hawaii’s many beautiful places, and are watching the current fire reports with horror. Particularly heartbreaking is the destruction of Lahaina town in Maui. The historic Front Street area appears decimated- its beloved restaurants, shops, and waterfront destroyed.

Sadly Lahaina’s huge 150 year old banyan tree in Banyan Tree Park is damaged too, possibly permanently. Over the years, there’s not a visitor to Maui that hasn’t taken a souvenir photo by that imposing tree- even in 1886 King Kamehameha had his birthday party by it.

So as the details of the fire carnage become clearer, it is certain that thousands will be homeless and many more impacted economically. Kokua is needed for beloved Hawaii. The public is beginning to be directed to various ways to help during this crisis.

Hawaii News Now has an Aug. 9, 2023 article by Isa Farfan “Want to Help Those Devastated by the Maui Wildfires?Here’s How” (https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2023/08/09/want-help-those-devastated-by-maui-wildfires-heres-how/). Options range from giving money to Hawaii Salvation Army, the Kakoo Maui fund or America’s Red Cross, along with other fundraisers. In the days to come, there will likely be many more emergency relief sources available from various organizations, churches and groups. 

Maui Strong Fund

Hawaii Community Foundation is emerging as a strong contender delivering meaningful help to the Hawaiian community through its Maui Strong Fund. In response to the devastating wildfire, they are providing immediate disaster relief and anticipating the resources needed for the long-term recovery needs (https://www.hawaiicommunityfoundation.org/maui-strong).

Visitors to Hawaii have often experienced Hawaii’s signature aloha spirit of hospitality and generosity. Hawaii takes its aloha spirit very seriously- it’s even written into the state’s Hawaii Statutes as law. It’s time for some aloha spirit to be showered back on Hawaii now- they need kokua.

“Can’t Act! Slightly Bald! Also Dances!”

So stated a disappointing Hollywood screen test for an aspiring actor/dancer in 1933.  David O. Selznick of MGM, who’d commissioned the test, added in a memo, “I am uncertain about the man, but I feel, in spite of his enormous ears and bad chin line, that his charm is so tremendous that it comes through even on this wretched test.”  

It is a good thing that Frederick Austerlitz (also known as Fred Astaire), ignored his enormous ears, baldness, AND his critics. The world came to greatly appreciate the performer. He became widely regarded as the greatest popular-music dancer of all time. His stellar career in stage, film and television spanned 76 years.  

The world has not always had much good to say about other gifted people either.  In 1919, an editor at the Kansas City Star Newspaper fired an employee because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” The editor might have thought he was right to fire this man. He struggled for work and went bankrupt several times over the ensuing years. However that “unimaginative” ex-employee finally proved he did have just a little imagination.  He was Walt Disney, and he founded Disneyland in 1955. 

“Unfit for television”

That’s what a TV producer told a young Oprah Winfrey when he fired her as a Baltimore news reporter. It took Oprah a few years doing various forgettable jobs, until she took over the low-rated “AM Chicago” show. That show became “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” It made her a household name- and the richest African-American of the 20th century. Oprah, along with so many others, could have listened to negativity and never realized their potential or dreams.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

So said Thomas Edison about his creation of the light bulb. Edison was not one to dwell on his many failures. Even though he was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive,” Edison was anything BUT unproductive. Starting in 1869, he patented over a thousand inventions, many still in use today in some form (the light bulb, phonograph, motion picture camera, telegraph and telephone).

Albert Einstein altered the world of physics. Yet this slow-starter did not read until he was 7, and failed his university exams, reapplying a year later. Cinematic master Steven Stielberg has grossed billions with his blockbuster movies, but was rejected TWICE by his USC School of Cinematic Arts. Sir James Dyson had 5,126 failed prototypes before he finally hit upon his first working Dyson vacuum. All these talented people had something inside that made them keep on trying. They learned from their mistakes, and plodded on.

So the lesson is to keep moving forward and to not get discouraged and quit. There may be many others who are more talented, more intelligent, more gifted.  However, there may not be those that are willing to keep on trying. Even in failure, they learn from their mistakes, and never give up.

By the way, it is said that Fred Astaire framed that negative screen test and put it over the fireplace in his Beverly Hills home. It was not just as an “I told you so” against the naysayers that did not see his potential. It was more likely a reminder to never stop working on your goals, despite the obstacles. And to never listen to what the critics say- just learn from them.  

Way to go, Fred.

A big reality of getting older is attending less and less weddings and baby showers, and many more funerals. As I age, the number of funerals I experience is inevitably increasing. 

And goodbyes are hard.  Long ago I had thought that my high school graduation was difficult and jolting.  The reality I faced then was that all those familiar classmates with whom I’d gone to school for years, the well-known places and routines I took for granted- those were over. Some people I would likely never see again. If I returned to the old school halls, the gym, the neighborhood, it would not be the same. We all were moving on to the next phases of our lives. Whether we casually told each other, “See you around!” some of those goodbyes were still final.   

But funerals are much more intense than that. Funerals force you to forever let go of people that have been sources of support and love in your life.  Everyone has those significant family, friends, or acquaintances around them. They are those people with whom you’ve lived or traveled, with whom you’ve celebrated holidays, or just done mundane errands or movies together. They could be significant folk like teachers, co-workers, a neighbor, your cheerful barista or faithful mailman. In little and big ways, they are simply the familiar and consistent supports in your life.  As I grow older, I want to cling to these supports. But they slip away as people die, and their funerals make me more aware of the brevity of human life.

These people in your world that provide fellowship, companionship, their different take on life, their humor, their service- it is good to realize how you value them. Hopefully not only have you recognized their importance to you, you’ve let them know it too. It is truly sad to realize people’s worth only after they are gone and you cannot tell them. It makes the empty place they’ve left in your world even more hollow.  The best action is to give your people their flowers while they can smell them– not just at their funeral. 

Recently a friend lost her husband from a very fast-moving cancer.  One day I was seeing their fun-filled photos on Facebook of their latest tropical cruise. A scant few weeks later there were posts about his sudden death. It hit a lot of people very hard. Art was a lovely man- generous with everyone around him. He was someone that showed up with food and love wherever he went, and he made everyone feel like family.

One good thing that we all console ourselves with after Art’s sudden death is that he lived his life fully. Art did not put off celebrations or special travel vacations “until he retired.” From the mundane workday, to taking many family trips, Art always made it a point to enjoy life with everyone around him. Saying goodbye to him is made easier by knowing he expressed his love and enjoyment to everyone in his world, and many were able to express it back. Paalam, goodbye, Art. Kita tayo mamaya, catch you later. We know you’re still watching out for your sweet Julie and family.  

Bittersweet struggles with my funereal goodbyes are more positively viewed by author A.A. Milne of Winnie-the-Pooh fame. He says: 

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

I have been very lucky in my life. I am learning that this is a wonderful and very hard thing.