As I am getting older, it is usual to hear about people in my age group facing serious medical issues. Heart disease, cancer, or sometimes the dreaded “old-timers” disease, dementia…such serious conditions just seem to be an unfortunate part of senior life. As time goes on, the odds increase for an older person to face those conditions in themselves or those around them.
But as hard as it is to hear about seniors and loved ones dealing with these serious medical things, it is so much harder to hear about a younger person facing terminal illness.
A situation like this hit me particularly hard recently.
I attended “A Broadway Birthday: Sondheim, Lloyd Webber, and Friends” at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts in Costa Mesa, CA. It was a spectacular show- with brilliant musical performances by so many Broadway greats. There was Betty Buckley (whose stellar career has spanned 1964 to present), and Liz Callaway (a Broadway singer whose voice is Jasmine in the Aladdin sequels, or Kiara in Lion King, along with her playing the part of Ellen in Broadway’s Miss Saigon, and many more…). Orange County’s own Matthew Morrison (who starred in TV show Glee for years) performed, as did wonderful pianist John Boswell… the star-power just didn’t stop.
And then there was TV actor and Broadway star Aaron Lazar. The young man entered the stage area- walking with difficulty and using a cane. I expected some jokes about some skiing gone wrong as explanation.
Alas no. Lazar’s 20 year Broadway and television career has been impacted with an ALS diagnosis two years ago. ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease is a nervous system disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, leading to loss of muscle control. It has no cure and is fatal, with a life expectancy of maybe 2 to 5 years, though some people have lived 10 years or even longer.
So for his performance, Lazar perched uncomfortably on a stool by the piano. There was some joking with the pianist about a strict rule of never putting anything on top of a grand piano- but Aaron set his cane on it anyway. And then he sang the song “The Impossible Dream” for us all at the Segerstrom Center that night. As his beautiful voice swelled out over the audience, I am sure everyone- not just me- was crying and praying healing for this talented young singer.
Among his many career highlights, Aaron Lazar had been known for his part as The Man of La Mancha, first singing “The Impossible Dream” 23 years ago at CCM (University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music). Back then the song had a personal meaning for him. Lazar has explained, “My ‘impossible dream’ at the time was to be an actor. But I had no idea what ‘impossible’ really meant. When I got diagnosed, I thought, well, my new impossible dream is to beat this…”
I read later that Lazar hopes to inspire others with the song and his story. He has changed his idea about his impossible dream being the “beating” ALS. Lazar now feels that he does not want to fight, or resist- he simply wants to meet ALS “with ease and joy and healing. So my impossible dream is possible. It’s just to heal- not just the physical, but my whole self.”
So I fervently hope that Aaron Lazar, his medical team, his two young boys, his family and friends, and his extended Broadway family work together to make that impossible dream possible. Since seeing him at Segerstrom Center I’ve been listening to Lazar perform “The Impossible Dream” often (at AaronLazar.com). When he first sang that song, I am sure Aaron Lazar never dreamed that it would become such a personal bittersweet anthem.
I find it extremely hard to watch a young person facing a terminal illness. It’s somehow not right or natural. Even the statistics of the ALS disease seem to support this. Usually ALS is most common in people between the ages of 60 and the mid-80’s. Seeing Aaron Lazar with ALS is horrifically terribly wrong. Things such as ALS or pediatric cancers happen so routinely in the old order of this life.
Such darkness for me can only be countered by faith in a heavenly order with no more death, mourning, crying or pain. Many long for that infinitely better world. In the meantime, while we are here, Aaron Lazar and all of us work on our own impossible dreams, big and small.
And as a footnote, if I ever get discouraged about being forgetful, or having arthritis pain, or dealing with some medical issue, I remember something I once read-
“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”
